Baby Bump - 20 Weeks

end of 17 Weeks - Ahahaha!
end of 17 Weeks - freshly home from camping (i.e. 3 days without a shower!)

 19.5 Weeks
How far along: 20 weeks
Gender: GIRL!!  (Yay!)
Weight gain: 7 pounds.
Stretch marks:  No.
Worst moment this month: The "Welcome to School" cold brought home by C, which ultimately led to three sick kids AND the discovery of mucousy, cold curdled milk vomit that I discovered only because I sat in it.  And going to a midwife appointment and arriving 15 minutes late... no wait!  I didn't even have an appointment that day so, I was technically two weeks EARLY! Oh, and waking up to find that A had taken our return address stamp to many (many!) illegal surfaces, such as couches and floors and high chairs, before transferring his dutiful efforts to paper.  I was also NOT pleased to hear my midwife say I'll have to have biophysical profiles and non-stress tests weekly, starting at 34-36 weeks, and that I'll have to be induced at 38-39 weeks "due to my age".  (What!?)
Best moment(s) this month: Having the anatomy scan and seeing a healthy baby GIRL!  She is estimated to be about 13 oz. right now and looks great!
Strangest moment(s) this month: Waking up from a dream where I was head over heels in love with a Forney look-alike (from Where the Heart Is)... The weirdest dream possibly of ever.
Miss anything: My energy!  If I don't sleep well (most nights!), I feel pretty useless until I rest a LOT.  So many evenings, I've finally built up enough energy and buzz around getting things done after dinner time.  So ineffective!
Ultrasound count to date: 3
Movement:  Yes!  Daily now!  I always tell her "hi" and call her by her nickname.
Cravings: White cheddar cheetos, regular popcorn, ice water, fruit salads, whole wheat baked goods, tomato basil wheat thins.
Queasy or sick: Mostly better, except this damp, musty smell in my house makes me feel queasy.  And everyone's "I have a cold" breath.  And I still can't have many sweets (dark chocolate is ok now!) and any soda makes me feel sick!
Looking forward to: Honestly? February.  But until then, I suppose "cooler weather" and maybe even "Halloween" will suffice.



Motherhood Right Now

There's a line from a movie that perfectly encapsulates the way I'm thinking and feeling about my children right now.

"She was a unique constellation of attributes... my Halley's comet."

This is exactly what each of my children are: a constellation of unique attributes, each one a Halley's comet in my life. 

Daily life is busy.  Memory books are woefully outdated, my blogs (like this one!) are waning because of my inability to string together coherent thoughts, and, truthfully, picture books are the only things that are lagging by a only a few months.  

I'm not quite the record keeper I want to be, mostly because we're busy living and loving.  But, I look at my children often and marvel at the singleness of who they are as individuals, people who have never existed on this earth before now and who will never exist again.  I look at them as they grow and learn and begin to express their inborn uniqueness and am continually (and often newly) amazed.  

I think often about what I want for them.  Like a lot of parents, M and I talk and dream about what they might decide to Do for work or as a profession or even artistic expression.  But we also talk about who we want them to Be.  And, really, I think that Being is way more important than Doing.   

Much like Halley's comet, I hope to help each of my children achieve the brightest and fullest expression of their truest, most vibrant selves.

It is humbling and wonderful to be able to be part of this process.  They are amazing and sweet and funny and, if I'm paying attention, our crazy daily life is filled with hundreds of small, glittery glimpses of who these little people are becoming.

"May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world." -Ray Bradbury