32 Weeks

this is the definition of "cooked": no makeup, hair not done... this might be as good as it gets from here on out, folks.
How far along: 32 weeks
Gender: Baby girl
Weight gain:  24 pounds 
Stretch marks:  Nope.
Belly button in or out: In. And wedding ring is out! :(
Sleep: Was horrendous, but is slowly getting better (and I probably just jinxed it).
Worst moment(s) this week: I had a perfectly nice perinatologist walk into my appointment (when I expected a NP) and got my hopes up that he could be someone I really like (and maybe see more than once?), only to have him say as he left "well, good luck if I don't see you again".  Seriously!? So, of course, then I had more mid-night mental arguments with faceless perinatologists before finally resolving to be patient for a few more weeks before calling the neonatologist and demanding he instruct his people to watch every move the perinatologist makes when getting baby out "because these people don't know that the hell they are doing".  Oh, then there was the time that I googled "pregnancy itching at night" and learned I could possibly have a liver condition that could harm baby's liver and cause stillbirth.  So, blood tests, here I come!
Best moment(s) this week: Passing our first "real" non-stress test!  And, strangely enough for me, looking forward to my baby shower.  I have been more than usually reluctant this time, because I didn't see the point in having to dictate clothing options, and have sometimes been lost in a land of worry, etc. etc.  But the thought of this shower is really helping me tip the scales less toward worrying and more toward the realization that this baby girl will be a baby first and foremost.  She'll be cute and cuddly and new and wonderful and all those new baby things.  She will not just be her needs or her condition.  And in the vacuum that is expectancy of a child with "something wrong"... sometimes it's hard to see that, especially when it's buried under the layers of all that comes with it.
Miss anything: Sleep, glorious sleep...
Movement: There've been a few times I've been worried.  But I can always count on her moving a bunch as I'm laying the boys down to bed.  The promise of twice-weekly non-stress tests is definitely helping to ease my mind.
Cravings: I really wish fruit featured more heavily in my diet these days.  More fruit and less chocolate would be great. 
Queasy or sick: Nope! 
Looking forward to: My very last day of work next Thursday!  (Whoa!)

**Update on perinatologist visits: Baby is looking good on non-stress tests.  For the second test, I ate a snack and had some cold water in the waiting room like they suggested, and she performed beautifully.  After sufficiently freaking myself out with Google, I decided to mention the itching to the CNM I saw on Friday.

They ran panels for my liver function to test for cholestasis, a pregnancy-induced condition where hormones make the transport of bile to the liver slow down and it builds up in your bloodstream.  This means that it taxes not only your own liver, but baby's as well, since the blood supply is shared (thank you, symbiosis!).  I won't get the results back for at least a week, but have started on prescription medication and a self-prescribed supplement in the meantime, just in case.  While an earlier delivery at 37 weeks sounds heavenly, I am definitely keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have cholestasis.  Poor baby doesn't need another hurdle to leap over!

They did a quick ultrasound to check my fluid (looking good! yea!) and she was head down and face down.  I became convinced she was stuck that way and later laid tilted up on pillows to try and get her unstuck.  I don't know if I succeeded, but there've been a couple of dicey moments with the movement.  When she shifts big, it's painful because a rigid right foot or a bent out left knee will poke something and I have to brace for impact...

C keeps asking me when I go to my "doctor's ma-ppointment" if they're going to "take her out".  I keep telling him "not today".  On Friday, we braved up and took the boys to the ultrasound and to see the CNM, just for fun.  Bad idea.  They will never be coming to another "ma-ppointment" again!



30 Weeks and 31 Weeks

How far along: 31 weeks
Gender: Girl (except for the last couple of days when I've been in a Twilight Zone thinking it's a "he"... What!?)
Weight gain:  23 pounds 
Maternity clothes: Increasingly.  (boo.)
Stretch marks:  Nope.
Belly button in or out: In. But my wedding ring is very nearly "out".
Sleep: OMG.  So BAD, you guys!  I start getting itchy right about the time I am falling into sleep.  And the peeing.  And the children... ugh. Last "night", I didn't get to sleep until around 3:30 in the morning!
Worst moment these past two weeks: I can't remember back that far, but feeling a little panicked over how to get her into an infant seat was not fun.  And this morning was a little tough.  I was turning to drop the boys off and saw a man crossing the street with a significant (possibly club-footed) limp and some limitation of his upper limbs too and it unhinged me.  It made me sad about what the world does to people who are "different" and made me pray my daughter has the strength of character to withstand it. 
Best moment(s) these past two weeks: I finally finished the NICU smocks!  And today was my going away party at work!  As much as I resisted it, it was good to say "see ya" to people I've worked with over the last 7.5 years.  Also, I came across this website, and Tracy's newborn photos are the closest I've found online to what I'm seeing on ultrasound - except my baby's legs are opposite from how hers are.
Miss anything: Sleep! 
Movement: Sometimes downright stealthy, which freaks me out.  And also late at night (and all night long), which makes me feel better.
Cravings: I need me some Waffle Love.
Queasy or sick: Nope! 
Looking forward to: Upcoming twice weekly non-stress tests and weekly ultrasounds.  AND potty training C, version 2.0.  AND switching A to cloth diapers.  (In other words, there's a lot of poop in my near future!)

"May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world." -Ray Bradbury