Salty Mama

I went for a real walk today. Not just a walk around the block or around the neighborhood. I got out my visor, put my hair in a pony tail, put on my running shoes and my iPod and took the baby out and walked for over 2 miles.

It was a warm day today. But, as I walked my former running route, I noticed that the sky was fantastically clear. The Supers looked awesome and I could see Four Peaks like it was the city's back yard. It all made me excited to start running.

When I was pregnant, I was convinced I'd get out and start another Couch to 5k at around 3 weeks postpartum. To that, I now say "Ha!" Mostly because I felt non-human at least that long and that I still feel sore in sundry places.

As I walked that road, I was bored. Like worse than running-without-an-iPod bored. In fact, running was preferable to the slow trod of walking 2 miles. Then, I started to remember. . . I remember how hard I had to push myself at times just to get to the end of a running segment - and then, when I was routinely running 5k, how I'd sometimes just have to concentrate on the white line of the bike lane and make myself keep going.

So, I have a new plan. In a few weeks, when I go back to work and have to be up wicked early to get the baby ready to get out the door with his dad at 6 a.m., I will just stay up and go "running" (evenutally it will be the real thing) three days a week (then get to work early myself).

I heard System of a Down on my iPod today and it always gets me going. So, I know I can do it.

When we got back to the house, I was sweaty and it was fabulous. I even opened the front door and the kitchen window and turned on a fan.

True, C napped almost the whole time, but we had fun! Pretty soon, he's gonna have a sweaty mama much more often.



A few of my favorite things lately:

~ My favoritest thing in the world right now is the shape C's mouth makes when he's "talking" to me.

~Next favorite is the sound of his voice.

~I love seeing M as a dad. (He's the best.)

~I love seeing the store of breastmilk in my fridge and freezer.

~I love seeing the scale dropping into the 170s.

Unfavorite things I'd rather not think about:

~Having to leave C to go back to work and missing milestones. (upside: M will be home with him 2 days a week.)

~Having to make a decision about vaccines by Monday's ped appointment. (upside: we'll be reading a lot this weekend and praying for answers.)

~Knowing I'd probably be lower in the 170s if not for all the baked holiday goodness I ate during the month of December. (upside: I'm still losing weight, been here before, and know I can do it!)



Big Baby

I was in Babies R Us yesterday (because I'm there at least once a week now) and a dad walked by carrying the tiniest new baby. I went "Awwwww! Tiny baby!" and my sister on the other end of my cell phone said "what do you mean? You have a tiny baby!"

"Not anymore" I told her.

He's had a major growth spurt in the last week or so. He doesn't look "newborn" anymore. He's an "infant" now.

But he's still really cute.

And if I were better than I am, I would have pictures to post to prove it.

But, I'm not.

And I have to go rouse a sleepy headed baby who can't decide whether he wants to wake or snooze.



Times, They Are a Changin'

The things we said/thought we'd do "when we have kids" were many. Here are how they've changed:

~I used to say that twins "would be fun". Now that I've actually had a baby, I realize that the first few weeks with twins would be torture. (And that's just the first few weeks!)

~We used to think "a diaper is a diaper is a diaper" and that we'd just go with what was cheapest. That was until we got spoiled on Pampers in the hospital. Everything else feels a little cardboardy and we found ourselves saying "we can't put that next to his skin!". Ditto with wipes.

~I thought we'd have the baby in our room for a few weeks and then transition him to his own room. Turns out, dad says he might be in our room "until he can sleep through the night". Or, you know, indefinitely. Who really knows?

~Ditto with co-sleeping. I never thought we'd have a baby in our bed. I was very very opposed to co-sleeping. We purchased a pack n play with a bassinet feature for just such a purpose. And yet, there are times when he sleeps between us in our already-too-small queen size bed. (Like the entire first week he was home. And when I'm too tired to get up to check on him.)

I'm sure the list will be astronomically long by the time he's good and raised. I think parenting is just like that. The reality of it is that you make decisions every day and turns out that the decision making process sometimes requires compromises and changes of thought.

That's just how it goes, I guess.



Turning Breastmilk Into Wine

I have quite the stock of frozen breastmilk. I've had to buy plastic bins to keep it all organized - and to keep all those little bags from taking over my freezer.

Right now I have in my refrigerator bags of breastmilk dated 12/31/09 and 1/1/10. Two days. Two different years. Two different decades. Stored up and sitting in my fridge.

It reminds me of the book Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury - where he talks about bottles of dandelion wine and how each bottle represents an entire summer day, caught and bottled and corked up to be savored another time.

Only that milk, unlike wine, does not get better with age. . .



"May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world." -Ray Bradbury