The Talk: The night before The Appointment, we were sprawled across the white down comforter on our bed, talking. M professed his love for the baby. I admitted I was just not feeling it, so I'm glad one of us was.
The Appointment: I went to The Appointment. The second one. At 10 weeks. I held my breath, waiting to see what there was to see. What I saw was a head, a heart, and a little body with tiny waving arms. Phew! Given the good news, doc said he didn't need to see me again for 4 weeks. Yea!
The Harassment: I thought I was paranoid about going to the family reunion-slash-Easter party with my mom's family. A couple of days before, I asked M if I looked different, "like pregnant different". He said no and I think he thought I was crazy. And paranoid. I wasn't. My being pregnant (or not) was a huge topic. Mir asked me again, which prompted my cousin to feel my belly and my head. (Whaaaa?) Then, my aunt asked my sister. Then my cousin's girlfriend asked me. Yeah. Sooo NOT paranoid. Par for the course. . .
The Unveiling: So, after the reunion, my mom called and asked point blank. I jumped all over her, fussed and complained about The Harassment, and then fessed up. I told everyone at work, including my boss. That was fun, and began with "your keen intuitive powers have probably told you something's up with your assistant. . . " He was happy for me, but managed to secure my promise that I'll be returning from mat leave. Let's see. . . who else? My mom told her family, and M told one of his brothers. That's it so far.
The Body: Weeks 9 and 10 were hell. The worst so far. Bad temperamental food issues, complete with smell and taste sensitivities and everything. Queasiness, too. Bad fatigue. Seriously, until last week, I hadn't worked a full 8 hour day for weeks. But, I'm gradually feeling better. More energy, bit by bit. Less queasiness and belching, bit by bit. Not having to eat every couple of hours, being able to drink more water, etc. etc. BUT, this week brought wicked bad migraines and some spotting. So, yesterday, I got to find out that I can't take anything for my head, and got to see the baby again. BIG sigh of relief - baby's intact and I'll be 12 weeks in 2 days. Woohoo!
The Mood: I've been frustrated to tears with all the not feeling good and being tired. I told myself that it's just a few more weeks and it'll be over. Then, on Sunday, I had an emotional, crying meltdown because our printer wouldn't work. When I walked into the bathroom with a tear-streaked face, M was scared (what, with all the spotting this weekend) until I sobbed "the printer's persecuting me!". All the crying is what set off the migraine, I think. Doc gave me some magnesium glycinate. It was either that or narcotic pain meds. I chose the mag glyc, which seems to be helping.
The Relief: Given the healthy almost-12-week ultrasound, I feel like I can finally relax a little. I'm feeling a little more certain, a little more . . . able to get used to the idea. Of course, there's always another worry around the corner. Today, our front door was already locked, unbeknownst to me, who flung myself at it full force to open it ("yea! I made it through the day! Migraine and all. . . "). The hand bar struck the side of my stomach/left hip area, and I tried to massage the sting away, praying that I didn't just hurt the baby. I came home and iced it. It's going to leave a nice sized bruise for sure, but hopefully baby is OK.