Always Go Back In

This morning began at the early (but used to it now!) hour of 7 a.m. with my baby next to me in his raised up toddler bed - screaming and ranting and just generally unhappy*. Now that he's all toddlery, he goes through these spells every now and then. Sometimes at 3:30 in the morning, but you know, why should that matter to us vampires? (Because I seriously think that's what parents have to become in order to cope with all the sleep deprivation . . . )

He rejected my soothing advances, my attempted caresses of his back, my calming tones by becoming rigid and frenzied, arching and tossing himself backward, and trying to get as far from me as possible,which is kind of hard to do when his sleeping quarters are designed to keep him within my reach.

I left him alone, writhing there and fussing. During such times, I usually say out loud, to no one in particular, "Well, kid, I don't know what to do for you."

And inevitably, when I stop trying to soothe, his frustrated crying gets worse. And inevitably, I take this as my cue to get back in there, get up to my elbows in fussy baby, and try again.

This morning, I asked M to bring me a sippy of milk. I laid C down on my chest, reclined back against my pillows, and as he calmed down and snuggled against me, I made a mental note.

Always get back in there.

No matter what. No matter how much the initial rejection stings. No matter if he's 17 months or 17 years. Get back in there. Get up to your elbows if need be. Because just when they think you're not what they need, you're exactly what they need the most.

(*Later, when happy and smiling and laying semi-still for a diaper change, I noticed the pointy white peaks of 1, 2, 3 teeth trying to come in. If I were cutting three teeth at once - and all molars, too! - I think I, also, would be a mite cantankerous . . . so, he gets a get out of jail free card. Who are we kidding: he always get a get out of jail free card!)



Time for Two

It is at the risk of entirely inflating my mom's hopes and getting her prematurely excited that I write this post.

My baby is 17 months old. As he becomes more and more independent, not a day goes by that I don't think about when to have another. "When" is a question that does not currently have an answer, since we are working to put some things in place and want to let the dust settle so we can see the picture clearly.

I've read plenty of articles about the ideal spacing for children. Everyone has their opinions. Even my mother-in-law, who once said "You guys are so funny. We never talked about when to have children or how to space them. We just did it."

If only.

Some people still take this approach. I am not one of them. But I am not getting any younger, people! (Are you?)

Some people say spacing of between two to three years is perfect, others say waiting longer (3, 4, 5 years) is better, still others say having them as close together (between one and two years apart) is the way to go.

What say you? What is your ideal spacing? Is it something you decided on purpose? Or are you one of those chosen few who have faith enough take them as they come?


"May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world." -Ray Bradbury