I've felt depressed today. I've felt a drop off of pregnancy symptoms today. The words "miscarriage is imminent" have gone through my head more than once today.
Finally, I broke down walking out of Wal-Mart after running an errand. I got to my car and cried. Then bucked up and decided to call my doc. The girl on the phone called me "sweetie". I don't know if my voice was just thick with tears, or if she just knew I needed it today, but it was nice. She put me on hold to pull my quant results. My doc picked me up from hold and said that my hcg was 1293 - climbing, but not fast enough. My progesterone was only 7 - a drop of over half "which is a little concerning".
He asked me to come in for a Rhogam shot. I didn't hesitate. Been there, done that once before. Because I have the best boss ever, I already had the afternoon off. I came home from Wal-Mart, laid face down on my bed and cried hard (yep I remember this from last time) for a good 10 minutes. This after having called M and barely being able to force out the words "I'm going to the doctor for a shot" between periods of silence when I was trying to compose myself so I didn't sound like a slobbering, sobbing, incoherent mess over the phone.
After I cried, I washed all my makeup off, changed my clothes, and headed to the doc. I was surprisingly calm. Which doesn't surprise me. (I've been praying all day.) I even joked with M-A about her shot-giving abilities. She said she was "awesome" and I concurred.
Then I went for a late lunch and a pedicure. Just what a girl needs when her body threatens to betray her: pamper the body and ignore the bloaty, full, crampy feeling in the low abdomen and the achy cramps in the low back.
Guess I'll be packing those pads after all. Which sucks, but God has me in His hand and I know I'll be OK.