Two years ago yesterday was when I first found out I was pregnant. I was not expecting to be. . . but in that instance, everything changed in terms of my wanting to be a mother.
In honor of that time in my life, I re-posted here a May 18, 2008 post I did on Ms. Adventures.
Since that experience, I've learned the following:
"The half of our Father's plan that creates life, that nurtures souls, that promotes growth, that influences evertyhing else was given to us. We can't delegate it. We can't pass it off to anyone. It's ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it's still our part and we're accountable for it." ~Julie B. Beck, general Relief Society president
I'm in a different place now. We're in a different place. January 22, 2007 feels so far away in that respect.
I'll never forget that day. I had finally decided that the thing I needed to do was to go back to grad school. 1-22-07 was the first day of my second class. But the surprising results of the home pregnancy test I had taken earlier that morning weighed heavily on my mind. I knew it meant a complete and monumental life shift.
By the time Wednesday came around, it was confirmed by the doctor. By Friday, I knew the bad news I was being given by the efficiently detached PA at my doc's office meant I probably could not finish one of my two classes.
Two years later, I have what I think is implantation bleeding and cramping. I don't have the typical spotting I usually get a week before my cycle starts. And I'm hoping that trend continues. And I sit in my car praying I will be healthily (and happily) pregnant - no more ectopic pregnancies or miscarriages - thinking about how long it has taken me to get to here, and being amazed that Hope is so resilient. . .
~Nichole
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