So Strange

It's a strange thing to want something so badly, but to want to not think (or even care) about it anymore.

It's a strange thing to feel like the concern of others is salt in the wound, and to want to carry this burden alone, having it yoked between only you and your husband.

It's a strange thing to pray and pray and pray (too many times to count) that your heart will be calm and you will find peace in the face of the anxiety, the worry, the fear, the sadness.

It's a strange thing to feel it's inevitable that your period will arrive in the next day or two (since your boobs aren't sore and you're still spotting) but still hold out hope that it won't and that you'll see double on that stick.

It's a strange thing to want a hpt to turn positive, but with stipulations: only if it's going to be good/healthy/viable. Only if I can keep it. Please let me keep it.

~Nichole