When my boobs ache, I'm glad. When I'm so tired I can't see straight, I'm glad. When I'm dizzy and lightheaded, I'm glad. Even when I wake up to pee 2 times per night (yes me, the girl who loves uninterrupted sleep or sohelpme I will cut you), I'm glad.
Because it means another day of being pregnant.
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks.
I walk around saying to myself "I'm pregnant!" and not because I'm trying to convince myself - just because I'm happy about it.
And we've told actual people too (like 3). Which is different for us.
But I'm still waaaayyy cautious. I haven't gone running all week because I don't want to risk it. I'm spotting and just in case, I don't want to make my body upset so that it does something unthinkable without my permission.
I've come to realize that many women do not worry about pregnancy loss the way I do.
I never realized before how my previous loss really affected me.
I'm happy, but cautiously so. Monday's doc appointment will hopefully bring the final breath of fresh air that I'm hoping for. Hopefully those hcg and progesterone numbers will be climbing as they should.
And hopefully I won't be sicker than a dog on our vacation-slash-early-10 year anniversary celebration. I don't think I'll be glad if that happens. (Yeah, and even though we planned this, I don't think I thought it all the way through when I was planning the vacation!)
~Nichole
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