Fertility is a Grown Up Word

I recently went to Dr. M. I was excited to see him. Unfortunately, he was having a bad day or something because he was unusually brisk and impatient with me. He even seemed exasperated at one point.

I've been having cycle issues that are not normal. So when he'd ask how things "normally" go with me, it was a little difficult to tell him. My cycles have not been normal since getting pregnant the last time. Apparently, my waffling did not make him amused. (Who knew?)

Anywho, in addressing the issue, he offered hormonal birth control in several forms. The comment that stood out was when he said "I don't know where you are in terms of your fertility." Huh. Funny. I don't know either.

Instead of waffling about that (which surely would have sent him over the edge), I said "I'm not looking to be pregnant in the short-term". Which pretty much sums it up, but might only be partially true, I am coming to find.

See, it's kind of hard when I have a husband who walks around saying things like "I can't wait until I have a better job so we can have another baby" and a baby who walks around, his big, dark eyes smiling under his curly mane, looking all cute and making me want 5 more of him.

So, where am I at in terms of my fertility?

Well, the textbook answer my body would give is that I'm 34 and the clock is tick-tocking faster and faster. The official answer my spokesperson would give if I was famous is "she is not pregnant and has no plans to be in the near future". The answer my heart would give, if things like money and jobs and homes closer to money and jobs were not in the equation, is I would totally welcome another baby (and secretly am hoping for a "happy accident" that would take all the thinking and plotting and planning out of it and sort of force the issue).

In the meantime, I am loving all over the baby I have, squeezing the juices of his babyhood and relishing this time when I can still call him a baby (even as he is on the threshold of toddlerhood!), and making the most of his only-child-ness while it's here. He is a fascinating and funny kid and I really would take 5 more just like him (but only if it doesn't mean 5 more pregnancies to get there - and not all 5 at once, either). (You've got to be specific when you put these things out in the universe!)

~Nichole