The August of My Awakening

Sometimes. . . .

Well sometimes I am just so so tired. 

And sometimes. . . .

Sometimes I remember how lucky I am. 

Usually when I am kissing C’s cheeks at night. 

Or inhaling the newborn baby scent off of A. 

Having Baby A here with us makes me remember all over again what a blessing it all is. 

I look at my sons and when I really allow myself to think on it, I am absolutely mystified.  The fervency with which I love them astounds me sometimes.  

But what has me really, truly awestruck is that I get to be these boys’ mother, to watch their personalities unfurl themselves right before my very eyes, to stand witness as the pure, undiluted essences of their beings flourish and fill up their growing bodies.

Words stumble and fall weak in the knees, daunted by the task of expressing the emergence of a body, the rushing forth of spirit, the creation of a whole new being, and precisely how it is that one becomes a mother.

Yes, the creation of a body is an extraordinary wonder to be sure, but guiding the development of these souls?  

It is THE miracle of my life.

~Nichole