11.25.2011

Reasons Why

August 28, 2011

On Friday, we took a visit to our local Target. We walked in and spied an expecting couple starting their baby registry. We saw another couple, the wife with her pregnant belly protruding farther than what should be legal (much less normal), looking over breast pumps and asking passersby for their advice. I weighed in, but because it was almost 9:00 and my kid was nearly melting down, I was much too distracted to give a wholehearted opinion, so I wasn't too disheartened when they didn't heed my advice and bought a Medela. Then, on the way out, I happened to glance back and saw a third prego walking out of the store behind us. "Too many!" I thought. The whole freakin' world is pregnant right now. Later that night, I admitted to M that I am not ready for invasion of the bodysnatchers to happen all over again. But, I wasn't really ready for it the first time. However, as it turns out, it is the only way to have a biological baby and, as it also turns out, I want one of those, so it is a road we must travel.

On Saturday, I went to my cousin's baby shower, feeling excited for the arrival of her little boy and looking forward to the shower. Once upon a time I really hated baby showers. Once upon a time before I was pregnant (the first time), I could count on one hand the number of showers I had attended. And yesterday, I remembered why it was I felt that way: Baby shower games. No matter how inventive or fun, they make me want to poke my eyes out. I swore right then and there that I will never willingly have another baby shower. Making someone bring me a gift and holding them hostage for cake and gift opening (the only reasons people really go to baby showers in the first place - and in that order, too) and torturing them with games in the meantime? That's just cruel and unusual punishment is what that is.

On Sunday, we further cerebralized having another baby. I asked M if he's really ready to take it on. I was thinking specifically about how I will likely be sick and he's going to have to pick up the slack, while he was thinking more globally about the aggregate cost of raising two kids. (It helps to convince the both of you if you look at your baby's photo album and reminisce over how tiny and lovely and cute newborns are.) The truth of it is there are a lot of reasons not to sign on for this right now (uh, economy, childcare, debt, job uncertainty, weight loss, I'm-not-ready-for-this, etc. etc. etc.). But there's One Big Reason to go ahead and do it: we want another one. That's it, end of story. And we want a sibling for C. The rest, as always, we will figure out later.

~Nichole

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"May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world." -Ray Bradbury