My baby is 17 months old. As he becomes more and more independent, not a day goes by that I don't think about when to have another. "When" is a question that does not currently have an answer, since we are working to put some things in place and want to let the dust settle so we can see the picture clearly.
I've read plenty of articles about the ideal spacing for children. Everyone has their opinions. Even my mother-in-law, who once said "You guys are so funny. We never talked about when to have children or how to space them. We just did it."
If only.
Some people still take this approach. I am not one of them. But I am not getting any younger, people! (Are you?)
Some people say spacing of between two to three years is perfect, others say waiting longer (3, 4, 5 years) is better, still others say having them as close together (between one and two years apart) is the way to go.
What say you? What is your ideal spacing? Is it something you decided on purpose? Or are you one of those chosen few who have faith enough take them as they come?
~Nichole
4 comments:
This will not come as a surprise, but 3 of my 4 children were not "planned." *gasp* And while I love my life and love how close my children will be as they grow older, I can't help but be jealous of people who have figured out how to space out their children. :) The first 2 were easy. I think having 2 close together is fun and very doable. Life was easy back when I only had 2 babies. Adding the third was freakishly hard, but that's primarily because we were dealing with a club foot and Type 1 diabetes at the same time. Having 4 has been less stressful than my transition to 3, but it's still pretty crazy. I do not recommend having 4 kids in 4 1/2 years unless you hate sleeping.
My current plan (and we'll see how well this one works out) is that IF we have any more kids (and some days that's a pretty big IF) it won't be until Charlotte is eight. By then she's gonna be an awesome little helper. I can't have another baby until I have a helper, dangit. And if that works out, I'll have a 4+ year gap... which sounds pretty dang heavenly right now. :)
I say, make the best plan you can then sit back and wait for God to do what He wants to do. If anything I've learned I'm not in charge. Birth control is a lie and a waste of money.
Five of my six pregnancies have been unplanned with Quatro really sending me for a loop as I stood nursing my infant and looking at that positive pregnancy test and cried.
I, for one, say close together is hard. I am looking forward to them being close together in the future and think it will be wonderful to have them all old enough to play and not worried about "the baby" hindering a trip or something with a return to the hotel room for a nap. But right now? Dang hard. Really hard. Pull your hair out and hide in your closet hard.
But even so, I wouldn't change it for the world. Each one came at their time when I needed them, when our family needed them, and when they needed to be born.
So how's that non answer for ya? :P
And now that I've read Danielle's comment, I'm agreeing. Going from 1 to 2 was a cake walk. So easy, no real change and down right fun. Three has killed me and I'm been scared to death to have number four. I hope she's right that the last transition is a little easier.
And I totally didn't mean to have four in four years. Since I need to explain myself for some reason.
Heavenly Father has a say too... I say when you feel you should, have another one. When Bryson was 7 months old I thought "Hey, I could do this again" so, we got pregnant with Aimee when Bryson was 9 months. They are only 18 months apart, and if I was going to keep the spacing the same, I'd already be 5-6 months pregnant with my 3rd. That being said, I have not felt like it was time to have another one. Combine that feeling with lack of money, only 1 small vehicle etc, we just can't have another one right now. However, we are waiting for the day when we feel right about it, and have the resources we need. Some other people like to have all theirs 2 or 2 and 1/2 years apart, or even 18 months. I say pray about it, make a decision, take it to the Lord, and see what happens.
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