The Kind of Boy

Dear C,

It was an interesting holiday weekend, to say the least. First, we worried you were too cold. Then, maybe you were too hot. Then you slept for hours in the Moby, in your seat, in the hotel room. Then, you threw up. Twice on Saturday night and once Sunday afternoon. You almost never throw up.

"Was it the heat?" we wondered. "Was it the cold?" "Too much sun?" "Is he sick?" "Was it the milk?" "Was it because you dropped him on Friday?" asked your dad. (for the record, you were in your carseat, and it wasn't from very high up.)

By Sunday afternoon, I had settled that it was because you are teething. Sure enough: there are two little white bumps on your bottom gums.

I missed you today when I had to go back to work. Coming home, I saw two teenage boys walking down the street and I wondered what kind of boy you'll grow to be. Will you be a lumbering, thick-bodied boy or a tall, slender boy (like your dad)? Whichever it is, I thought to myself, I hope you're a kind sort of boy, even when no one is watching. I hope you're the sort of boy who gives hugs and can talk about his feelings. For your dad's sake, I hope you like going fishing and hiking. I hope you are funny and funloving. Dada says he hopes you're smart and that you like to learn about things.

But, really, I hope you're the sort of boy that grows into a wonderful man (like your dad). Boys will be boys, but those that grow into respectable men are my favorite kind.

So, as I rocked you to sleep tonight, I kissed your cheek and whispered "I love you", then I whispered a prayer to Heavenly Father, thanking him for the beauty of my life - for you and your dad - and asking that I will always remember to spend a little time each day in the small moments of life. Like putting a sleepy boy to bed, nuzzling against the warmth of his cheek, gazing at the profile of his sleeping face and thinking on the blessing that is mine for getting to be his mom.

See, whatever kind of boy you become, whatever kind of man you grow up to be, I can already tell you are fantastic. And watching you become that boy and helping you become that man will be one of the profoundest privileges of my life.

~Nichole