Intentional Means "On Purpose", Right?

Remember when I won a free birth consultation in a give away held by Jenn at Baby Makin(g) Machine? Well, this past Tuesday I had my free consultation with Karen at Intentional Birth.

It was great to talk with her because it helped me realize that my greatest fear about labor is that I’ll hit the wall and have a full mental collapse the way I did when I was training for the half marathon. (Though, admittedly, I’ll hardly be able to decide that I never really had the proper motivation and that I just don’t want to do it anymore, and then sit on a street corner and cry it out.) I just don’t want to make decisions driven by pain and discomfort or from the fear of pain and discomfort. Karen was able to talk with me and help me see that it doesn’t have to be that way. Proper preparation – and having the right support (even if that means just M and no one else) – can go a long way toward helping me avoid that scenario.

A couple of things that stood out from what Karen and I talked about:

-It’s OK to be open minded about how labor and delivery will play out. But it’s also good to have a plan. (Especially since I tend to be more about the big picture and not dwell on the specifics – at least when it comes to plans, that is.) Before talking with Karen, I wasn’t going to draft up a birth plan for fear that it would leave me rigid and inflexible if circumstances suddenly change. I am now going to have a birth plan, but know that it is a guideline rather than a rule book.

-I’m going to ask my doc if fetal monitoring can be done by Doppler instead of with the belts – which will make it so that I can have more time free to move around as I desire instead of having to be stationary 15 minutes of every hour.

-If my doctor answers any question about labor and delivery with a “let’s wait and see” type answer, a great way to get an answer out of him is to ask “what circumstances would have to exist for xyz to be possible?”

-Someone on my support team – M or a doula or someone – should be my advocate with the nurses so that if a decision needs to be made that does not fit into the birth plan, that person will ask the nurse (or even the doctor) for a few minutes to discuss it in private.

-Depending on how M and I feel after childbirth classes, I may or may not be hiring a doula. I’ve ordered the Father to Be Handbook Karen suggested and if M feels like he can be both my labor coach and my support system – someone who will remind me what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, someone who will understand how to talk me through the current pain and get me from the peak to the valley so that I can make decisions with as clear a head as possible, someone who will talk me down from panic and doubt – then we’re going to run with that. If not, we’ll be interviewing doulas in the next month or so. I don’t want to try and convert my husband into something he’s not. While I want strong support, I want M to be able to be himself and not feel like he has to be more for me than who he already is.

Karen offered to continue her consultations with me over the next 12 weeks. I’m seriously considering taking her up on her offer. M has some hesitation and I told him he should listen to the recording of our consult and take a look at her website and let me know what he thinks. Hopefully we’ll have a decision in the next few days. I’ll keep you posted.

~Nichole