It might come as a shock because I'm such a "planner", but when it comes to the whole labor thing, I've worked hard to keep all doors open in my mind and not try to pin myself down to one thing. I've seen it happen too many times when a woman sets herself up for one type of birth and walks out with the exact opposite of what she planned. Oh, also, I hate pain.
So, I've looked at labor much like this: I'll labor at home as much as I can and try to do it as naturally as I can, but if it gets too hard to bear, I'll start with Door Number 1. Door Number 1 is the epidural. Since it can slow labor, makes an IV mandatory, and will keep me bedridden, I'd like not to have to go with Door Number 1. But, again, me and pain are not good bedfellows.
I don't quite know what the intermediary Door Number 2 is yet, which is nicht so gut, but Door Number 3 is a C-section.
Frankly, one thing watching all "those shows" lately has done for me is illustrate very vividly the differences between a medically managed birth and a natural one. The major difference between them is what happens immediately after the birth. In all the medically managed ones (i.e. epidurals and cesareans), the babies had to go to NICU and mom had to go to recovery - meaning mom missed out on the first 45 minutes when her newborn is most alert after birth.
In the natural scenario, mom had an excellent coach of a husband and despite having an episiotomy, got to pull her baby up onto her stomach and put him skin to skin just moments after his birth. Baby never left the room.
We tour the hospital in a few weeks and little does M know that I'll be asking him to think about questions he might have for the staff there. Like "if the baby has to go to NICU, can I go with him?" and stuff like that. Just in case.
But really, I'm thinking I might just hire a doula who can be with me to labor at home and can consult with me on when to go to the hospital and who can help me when I think I can't do it anymore.
Then again, my friend C planned the same route, was overdue and had a failed induction and ended up with a beautiful babe born via cesarean.
Obviously I need to "get thee to a library" and read up on all my options. Not only so I can have a Door Number 2 plan, but also so I can make some informed choices when the time comes.
Update: I've been to the library and started reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Our Bodies, Ourselves. On one hand, Ina May freaked me out just a little. But on the other, both books have me starting to seriously think about my body and what it's capable of. Yes, I don't like pain. But I also know I am strong and I believe my body will ultimately figure this whole birth thing out.
Pregnancy is a biological process that is set in place in spite of me or my fears. Genetic material has artfully collided and issued its "run program" order, orchestrating the artful, astronomic and wondrous process of growing a whole new human being. My body has received its own requisite message, setting in motion its own growth process, increasing blood volume, increasing uterus size, creating a placenta seemingly out of thin air, preparing breasts to fulfill the purpose for which they were created. . .
It's truly an amazing process and it's not even complete yet. Labor and delivery complete the journey. Knowing what my body has already achieved, I'm becoming more and more convinced of its ability to maintain course and finish what it's started - naturally.
I'm still leaving doors open in the event that this baby ends up being breech or transverse or some other thing and chooses to be born some other way.
BUT if all proceeds well, my intent is to labor at home until I'm in active labor, go to the hospital and move around as much as possible to work through the pain until baby, biology and body come into sync, aligning together to bring this new being forth.
Due to the generosity of Future Mama at Baby Makin(g) Machine and her giveaways, I've won a consult with birth coach Karen of Intentional Birth. I'm very excited to talk with her!
~Nichole
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