I've done it! I've made it past 12 weeks.
I've also had horrible migraine headaches that have marked each of the past two weeks.
It's made me think. I don't think I was really, fully prepared to enter this pregnancy thing. Obviously, we had the trying and the failing and the trying and the losing and the trying and the succeeding - so it was all very planned. I've read vociferously over the last 2 years, but I still feel like I didn't really know what it would be like. Not really.
If I had to write my own version of "What to Expect", it would be something like this (at least for the first trimester):
Fatigue: You will be more tired than you ever thought possible. You will daydream about taking naps. You will waste what precious little energy you have on devising ways to fall asleep at your desk or disappear for 30 minutes or an hour without anyone noticing. You will actually fall asleep at your desk while reading legal case summaries. You will lie down during your lunch hour only to discover what you knew all along: 20 minute naps were made for someone other than you, since it takes at least that long to actually fall asleep, by which time your nap alarm goes off and you drag yourself back to work. After work, you will lay around and do nothing for weeks because you only have the strength to make it through a 6 or 7 hour day. You will feel very accomplished when you hit 11 weeks, get a little strength and energy back, and start working the 8 hour days your employer pays you to work.
Potty: Once the epitomy of Lover of Uninterrupted Sleep, you will now count yourself lucky if two mid-night potty pilgrimages are all you have to get up for. Four will be more likely. Since you are constantly yucky in the stomach, your water consumption will decline drastically. No matter. Your bladder will make up for it and you'll have to pee like you're still drinking 3/4 of a gallon a day anyway. You'll make up an arbitrary 8:00 p.m. cut off time for anything slightly liquidy in hopes that it will stave off the sudden wakefulness at 12:00, 2:00, 4:30, 6:30 in the morning when your bladder pronounces to your tired brain that it is, in fact, full and needs to be emptied. You'll lift your sleep laden body from the bed and stumble to the pot, only to think "seriously!? I got up for that!? no way my bladder was full on so little fluid!"
Nausea: Prior to falling pregnant, you tolerated food. You will now loathe it. You will think about it constantly, trying to divine what your body wants/needs and what, simultaneously, will not make you want to puke, give you wicked indigestion, or won't taste nasty when you're still burping it back up 3 hours later. You will crave spicy, tomato-based foods, but you will only be able to tolerate bland, boring ones. You will have to have a snack on hand always, much to your disdain. You pump something into your body whenever you feel the least bit ill, much to your disdain. You will no longer be able to drink slightly warm water, and especially not from your Nalgene bottle, which you'll hide somewhere under the backseat of your car and inexplicably and secretly hope to never see again. You will not throw up (phew!), but that's because every time you feel the least bit queasy, you slurp in air and hold it so that it fills your belly and forces out a huge belch (much to the embarassment of your husband who's walking with you in Wal-Mart) which eases the queasiness ever so slightly. You will feel better at 10 weeks, with spells of nausea popping back up randomly at your stomach's whim.
Cravings: You will crave Cheezits, crumb donuts and chocolate milk, seedless green grapes, spreadable cheese and crackers, vanilla ice cream, cinnamon raisin bread, pizza, mall pretzels, fire roasted tomato soup (bad idea, btw), and ice water (must be ice). You will tire easily of the "standby" foods, like ginger ale, ginger snaps, saltines, etc. etc. But seedless green grapes, Ramen noodles, and baked potatoes will help. You will scour an art fair for over an hour on a Saturday morning looking for something that might be palatable. Your 2nd trimester pregnant friend will eat fried noodles, and you'll eventually settle for a croissant and some apple juice. Oh, and just when something sounds good and you go to the store and buy all the ingredients and make it, you'll not want to eat it and the leftovers will sit in your fridge and die a slow and painful death until your husband is forced to throw them out lest they stink (see "Smell" below). You will discover that you can no longer eat chicken, ground beef, fish. . . or basically any meat products. And even though you HATE to throw up, there will be times when you will fantasize about it in the hopes that it will just make you feel better.
Smell Sensitivity: You will hate the smell of sunscreen on your husband's face when you kiss him upon his return from fishing. You will be grossed out by any semi-strong scent or smell, which only enhances the nausea problems and food aversion issues. Drive thrus, now a staple, will be particularly challenging as you will have to drive to the back of the restaurant, where they keep the trash, to order. When you roll down your window and your Super Nose sniffs that, you will be torn between wretching, ordering, or driving as far and as fast away from there as possible. Given the whole nausea/cravings conundrum, however, you will probably hold your nose while you order.
Weight: You will bore your husband with discussions about your weight and your plans for gaining slowly, because you're a little obsessed about not gaining too much. At the end of the first trimester, you'll be right on target, having only gained the recommended 4 pounds. But in week 13, all bets are off and you'll put on an additional 2 pounds - 1 more for that week than recommended. You will then make a mental note to lay off the ice cream and homemade gelato.
Constipation: Get this: nothing will move. Period. You can eat all the Grape Nuts you want. You can eat more fruits and more veggies and drink more water and (try to) walk more. Nothing. You will feel so gross that a colonic will eventually sound like a bit of heaven. That is, until you take too much mag glyc for the migraines. Then, everything will flush out of your system inside 24 hours, make you lose 3 pounds, and lead to the discovery that your "bump" is mostly just gas and poop. Aaaannnnd repeat.
Reality: Despite your trying to get to this place, you will have moments of surreality in which it doesn't feel real. And you will have moments of panic. Place your head between your knees and breathe deeply and the latter will quickly pass.
~Nichole
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